ND Friendly Life Tarot Part I
THE THEORY
The ND Friendly Life Tarot is a neurodivergent-affirming practice modeled on traditional Tarot, but with its own card deck and meanings. It is designed to be used alone or with a trusted Tarot reader, friend, or coach. Its projective technique means that you will derive your own meanings from the cards each time you engage with them. Your perspective, frame of mind, and the situation you are in will all influence your interpretations. They are designed to inspire you to see yourself and your situation with compassion and curiosity, and to open your mind to new ways of seeing things.
The Design
I designed the NDFL Tarot practice to meet the need I saw in so many late-identifying ND’s (myself included). We can struggle with a unique combination of factors. We might have a desperate desire for guidance or support while our rejection sensitivity can make unsolicited or mis-attuned advice excruciatingly painful. Between masking, demand avoidance, and the overwhelming pressure to figure out how to make life work on a seemingly inhospitable planet, getting a fresh perspective on our situation can be fraught.
Furthermore, we have often built up internal defensive systems over decades such that our “inner critic” is now an “inner assassin,” and the things that kept us safe as children still hold sway even when they are costing us so much as adults that it literally may be taking years off our lives to keep doing them. Even when we know we want to do things differently, enacting a new way can feel too threatening to our sensitized nervous systems.
The goal of the Tarot cards is to create the opportunity for new ways of seeing things, while keeping the power in your own hands. You choose how to interpret each card, what parts you want to engage with, and what doesn’t feel relevant to you at this time. The cards are all based on principles that I believe are nourishing for neurodivergent adults. And best of all they’re available at any time of day or night.
The Principles
What I have seen over and over in myself, my friends, and my clients, is that when we prioritize the demands of the world over the capacity of our minds and bodies, we break down. And when we honor our needs and limits, we can heal, catch up on rest, and actually enjoy ourselves.
I have seen us brought low by internalized ableism, and I have learned that engaging compassion and curiosity is more effective at creating behavior change than shame and blame are. I believe that accessing and accepting support are the key to getting from where we are to where we want to be. And I believe it is worth it to try to build a life worth living.
The use of cards and symbols for self-exploration has always been helpful to me, and in particular my friend Shelby Glaser showed me over the past few years how to use Tarot for that process. I find it to be a beautiful and profound counterpart or adjunct to coaching and other therapeutic modalities. And so I used the Tarot as a framework to offer my neurodivergent life sustaining messages to anyone who wants them.
Make your own deck and use the guide I created to give it a try!
