One of our biggest assets is each other. . .
Find your people, find your self.
Affinity groups to connect with your Neuro-kin. . . in Vermont and Beyond.
YOU’RE SPECIAL AND UNIQUE. . . and you just wanna be normal!
Autistic loneliness is a thing for a reason.
Since childhood you were so sensitive to the pushback you got from peers and family.
You HATED getting the confused looks, and the off-putting comments about “Marching to the beat of your own drum” or how “You’re so. . . unique!”
So you learned how to fake it. . .
You learned to double check your work a million times to offset the ADHD. . .
Just having a conversation is like an out-of-body experience because you’re WATCHING the conversation unfold and telling yourself “don’t talk while they’re talking!” and “now say something. . . SAY SOMETHING!!!!” but of course, under pressure, you can’t get a word out.
It’s exhausting.
And it’s lonely. So. . . painfully. . . lonely.
You love the people in your life
but even with them it can be hard to relax and
“just be yourself”
In fact, when you accidentally DO let your guard down the funny looks start up again, or teasing comments that they say are “a sign of affection”.
The fact that they hurt your feelings must be your fault for taking it too seriously, right?
Over time all the strategies to fit in. . .
masking, people pleasing, and perfectionism. . .
end up making you feel more and more isolated.
It’s like you’re a ghost and no one really sees you or knows how to reach you.
Over time the loneliness turns into numbness, hopelessness, despair.
We desperately NEED connection, but when we try to get it we get burned. So the protective shell stays in place and we are suffocating inside of it.
It doesn’t have to be this way.
What are affinity groups?
As examples, we might have groups for ND parents of ND kids, Menopause and AuDHD, ADHD and relationships, etc. The diagram to the right shows a variety of option for groups that could be available to you. For example, parents of ND kids who think they might be ND themselves and are struggling with work life balance so they’re considering a career change. You might feel like you’re all alone, but there’s other people going through it too!
The groups meet on zoom for 90 minutes every week, for 8-12 weeks. There are 10 or fewer people in each group, and the group members commit to the entire series so we really get to know each other and build that feeling of connection over time.
Affinity groups in general are any group that joins together because of a shared bond or identity.
We offer affinity groups for adults who are neuro-curious, recently-identified as neurodivergent, or NDs who have known who they are for awhile but are ready to connect with others like them now. Within that general population, we select people who have some other things in common that they’re currently wanting to focus on.
All of our entry-level groups provide a little bit of education about topics relevant to the group’s focus. So each week you’ll get an email with a short video or article and some of our own perspective about a particular aspect of ND life. That way you can prepare if you want to, but no one is required to do the reading, you can just show up to the group as you are. In group, we share from our lived experience on the topic of the week, and refrain from giving advice. This is a group for connection and self-acceptance, not for problem solving or therapy.
Affinity Groups:
Hear from others like you!
When we spend time with other late-identified AuDHDers, we realize we’re actually totally normal, even boring!
Couldn’t tell your left foot from your right until sixth grade?
Misused words or expressions in excruciatingly embarrassing moments you wish you could erase from the record of history?
Never understood why being a “boy” or “girl” was so important to other people?
Or clearly understood that your own gender identity or sexuality was different from what other people expected it to be?
Spent your therapy sessions trying to figure out how to say the right thing so your therapist would feel like they were doing a good job?
Kept dating someone because you couldn’t figure out how to break up?
Opened your suitcase to realize you’d packed 8 pairs of socks but no pants?
You’re one of us!
There’s something about just being NORMAL, AVERAGE, ONE OF THE CROWD. Maybe it’s fun for neurotypicals to feel unique, but for us the idea of blending in is such a novelty!!!
Affinity groups are your chance to hear from other people like you.
And of course it’s not like EVERYTHING about us is identical. Each person IS truly unique because that’s what it is to be a human being. But there’s something about hearing the ways that other individuals navigated or interpreted the world through their own undiagnosed neurodivergent lens that makes it easier for us to accept the ways that we did.
It makes it easier to give ourselves grace, and be kind and compassionate to ourselves, and eventually even to celebrate who we are.
AFFINITY GROUPS CAN HELP YOU…
Come to know and understand yourself better
Meet others like you
Get a sense of what parts of your personality are related to your Autism or ADHD
Get a sense of what parts of yourself (if any) feel distinct and separate from your neurodivergence
Learn what life has been like for other late identified Autistic ADHDers
Locate yourself on the spectrum among others (Are you hypo or hyper sensitive? Are you low on empathy or a super empath? There are so many ways to be ND. . . )
Believe it or not, you too can be boringly normal.
faqs
Common questions about Affinity Groups
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We cap the groups at 12 people, to make sure it’s intimate enough to feel safe, but has enough diversity to give a mix of different experiences.
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No! Affinity groups provide benefits by sharing our life experiences, but we are not trying to change or make you question EXACTLY who or how you are. . . We like you this way and are just here to share time and space with other people with similar brains.
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Financial investment: $100 to per week, paid in full before the first meeting. So 8 week groups are $800, and 12 week groups are $1200. Special groups like the SSP or Self-Assessment groups may be more expensive ($150 per meeting) or have a separate charge for supplies or time required from us outside of group hours.
Time commitment: 90 minutes a week for 8 weeks, plus time to consider the topic during the week.
Emotional commitment: Be ready to experiment with unmasking in the group. Bring compassion and curiousity for yourself and everyone else. Open hearts and minds required.
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There will be a brief (5-10 minute) presentation at the beginning of each meeting, based on some materials (brief videos, or articles) that we will have shared through email the week before. The conversation will start out based on that topic, but often veers into all kinds of other topics as well. We keep the discussion to our own lived experiences, and refrain from offering advice. We’re aiming for a judgement-free zone here.